i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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