That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
