I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
