she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
