Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
