there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
