i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
