I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Houston, we have a squirter
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
