turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
