Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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