Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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