Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
