the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So squirting runs in the family.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
