I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I want her autograph on my taint
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
false alarm, still single
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
