There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
