Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
