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When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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