My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My butt remains clenched, sir.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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