We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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