I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
