the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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