someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
