Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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