Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
