remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
