I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
