He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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