I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
