: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
