I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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