at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
