last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
