Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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