I just pynch a tree in the face
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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