When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
