take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
