I'm drive I can fine osifer
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
