Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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