I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
