went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
