Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
