I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
