I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
