I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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