at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
