I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
