spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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