dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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