covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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