She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
