Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
