dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
