last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
