I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
